


A Cheshire Grin

by cosmosalone200



Category: American McGee's Alice, Naruto
Genre: ...I hope, Character death already, F/M, Gen, Hello Kakashi, Horror, I need a beta, I still need a beta, Kakashi is not crazy, Not a Crossover, Trying saying that three times fast, and we're only on the first chapter, but he doesn't count, except Cheshire, nobody is happy, well we're off to a good start, which he will probably come to regret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-14 04:16:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4550058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmosalone200/pseuds/cosmosalone200
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you lose your way best ask for directions. When you lose your sanity, don't ask the cat after all he probably stole it. But who says you had it in the first place?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One – A Questionable Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, America Mcgee’s Alice and/or Alice – Madness Returns.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Fasten your seat-belts, I’m in this for the long haul.

 

**Prologue**

**_The Cheshire Cat_ **

_The origins of the Cat remain largely unknown to scholars. His known form is that of a grey, near skeletal cat, covered in tattoos and a silver hoop piercing one ear. One of his most notable features is his bloody grin. His only recorded power the ability to disappear and reappear at will. His victims are generally varied as per his fancy. The end results are usually range from homicidal rages to outright massacres. None have ever been cured from their madness and the reason behind the Cat's actions are yet unknown. The longest and most strange record of Cheshire was during the case of Alice Liddell and her Wonderland. Since then his whereabouts have been largely unknown. Recent rumors state sightings near the borders of the shinobi nations unfortunately no concrete evidence has been given._

 

\- Excerpt from _The Records of Ambrose Volume XIV, Chapter 13_

**Chapter One – A Questionable Encounter**

 

They were throwing stones again. Crying and shaking with fright the little pink haired girl turned and began to run away, stumbling on air. Few of the stones hit her and those not hard enough to cause real pain. But the insults cut to the bone and left her torn and bleeding on the inside.

 

_What kind of ninja has pink hair?_

_Look at that forehead! It's so big you could use it as a billboard!_

_A white circle for a family crest?!? Target practice more like!_

_What's a civilian doing trying to become a ninja anyway?_

_She's so weak..._

_Weak..._

_Weak..._

 

  As she approached home, she began to slow down and wipe away her tears. If her parents saw it would only give them more ammunition. Steeling herself, she entered. The small house was as meticulously clean as always. Her father was reading the paper while her mother poured out tea. Both turned to face her, mouths thinning with disapproval. Masato and Nanami Haruno were a near-stereotypical civilian couple with traditional views. The man must provide for the family. The woman must clean house, cook meals and birth children. Shinobi must be respected but avoided as much as possible. They considered it a black stain on their pride when their only child when behind their backs and signed up for the Ninja Academy.

 

Nanami watched the six-year-old take off her ninja sandals before asking "Are you still going through this ninja phase of yours Sakura?" Not giving Sakura a chance to answer she went on "I had hoped you learnt sense already! How can you hope to attract any decent boy when you're dirty and sweaty? Really Sakura, what could you possibly be thinking? A girl has no business playing ninja, her role is to find a good husband, get married and give him children! How will you marry if you keep--?"

 

"I-I-It's not a phase Mother a-and I'm not playing. I-I am going be a shinobi!" "That is enough Sakura!" Masato glared at his daughter over the newspaper "I will be tolerant with this shinobi nonsense but I will not tolerate back talk out of you! Go up to your room, you'll have dinner there tonight!"

 

"Y-Yes Father" Chastised, Sakura began the trek upstairs to her room, what little defiance she had completely drained out. She had always been a good girl. The Academy was the only thing she had ever gone against her family about. That night when Sakura slept, she dreamt of children that didn't bully her and parents that accepted her as she was. Deeply she slept, dreaming the innocent dreams of innocent children, never seeing yellow eyes appear on her windowsill and gaze down on her.

 

****************************************************************************

 

Tiny body riddled in bruises, Sakura pressed her knees against her chest and tried to appear smaller. Today shuriken replaced rocks; nonetheless she was grateful that they were only allowed the blunted kind. She wouldn’t put it past the larger girls to use her as target practice if they got their hands on the sharp deadly kind but blunted or not metal projectiles still hurt.

 

“ **SHANNARO!** ”

 

Eyes wide Sakura pushed herself harder against the tree, seemingly trying to disappear into it, whilst glancing around wearily for the source of the loud voice. “ **You’re looking in the wrong place!** ” Startled, Sakura began to frantically search around for the voice. Finding nothing she tentatively called out “Who are you?” “ **Damn! Should have done that first, well never mind that now, I’m AAARGH-GLACK!** ”

 

Suddenly Sakura felt a strange shiver go down her spine and a mildly uneasy feeling come over her, where she but a decade older she would say the feeling was akin to someone walking over her grave alas the dear girl was no more than a child and so she simply shook away the feeling and called out once again to the strange voice “H-Hello! Are you okay?”

 

“Taken care of would be a more appropriate turn of phrase”

 

The sudden appearance of a second voice proceeded to startle poor Sakura even more than before, perhaps if she was of a clearer mind she would have noted that the first voice was loud, girlish and seemed to boom from within her head whilst the second was low, gravelly and seemed to come from the branches of the tree she was still trying to mold herself into. But fortunately she was able tell the direction of the voice and immediately jumped away from the tree and looked up. On one of the thicker branches lay a cat but not like any cat the child had ever seen but she was a good student, and most importantly one who lived in a ninja village, and she knew that ninja usually had animal summons. And so like the good girl she bowed to the cat and said “Forgive me nin-cat-san, I did not know that you were here”

 

Tail twitching in mild irritation the cat replied “I am not one of those insipid creatures that answer to the beck and of any who sign a bit of paper with a little blood and for the second you couldn’t have known because I was not here” Grinning down at the girl the cat watched the thoughts play out in her green eyes. Mustering what little courage she could, Sakura looked into the cat’s eerie eyes “If you’re not a nin-cat then what are you?”

 

“Cheshire”

 

Confused, Sakura tilted her head to the side “Huh?” “I am the Cheshire Cat and to you Sakura I am simply Cheshire.”Taking a step back, she asked wearily “H-How do you know my name?” “The art of lurking is well-known to those of the feline persuasion” Jumping from the tree, Cheshire stalked over to the girl who only then realized just how large the Cat really was. Why he was taller than her and, mangy appearances aside, he cut quite the menacing figure. Sakura felt her initial apprehension returning but before it could take over her, her ears picked up the sound of the academy bells ringing calling the future-ninja in for their next class. Glancing back at the Cat, she said “I have to go now” With a near visible sneer in his voice, he replied “Ah yes, flower arrangement. A necessity for some I’m sure however we have more important things in mind” Confused, and strangely eager to avoid the much hated class, she asked “Like what?” “I find that pleasant conversation is a rare commodity these days, perhaps you would oblige?”   

 

And so they spoke, a large cat of unknown origins and a pink-haired girl who never skipped a class before, before long the time for flower arrangement was drawing to a close as did their conversation.

 

“Asking questions I find is the best way to prove someone wrong”

 

“And if they know the answer?”

 

“Then ask more questions. However our time, for now, has come to pass the next time we meet I shall bring you a gift. Here’s a hint: It goes snicker-snack” And with those words the Cat began fade out of existence till he was not but glowing eyes and a grin and then those were gone as well.

 

Rising to her feet Sakura began to walk back to the academy for her next class, mind spinning with tells and tales from the mouth of a cat. Now fate is a curious thing, if Sakura had gone to the class perhaps her tale would be spun in a different web. Perhaps she would have gained a ribbon and a friend, and later perhaps a petty rivalry. But the dice were cast and only time would tell were her choice would lead her.

 

However, walking back home, Sakura was as ignorant as most to the threads of fate pulling this way and that. Entering her home, she began to brace herself for her mother’s usual onslaught of words before she remembered Cheshire’s words on questions and for the first time good little Sakura asked “Why?”

 

Flustered at being interrupted by her wayward daughter and at the strange question, Nanami responded “Because that is the way things are” Confused Sakura asked again “But why? Who’s to say we can’t change things? Lots of things change and people seem to like it” Still pondering the question, Sakura failed to notice her spluttering mother’s attempts to justify her reasoning. Stating off handedly “I’m not hungry mother, I think I’ll go to bed early today” Sakura turned and began to walk up the stairs into her bedroom.

 

Watching her daughter walk away, Nanami began to consider the idea of birthing another child after all she was still young enough and it seemed Sakura’s mind was too far gone despite her young age. That night Sakura dreamt again, sweet dreams of question marks and grinning cats and things that went snicker-snack.  

  


	2. Twisted Innocence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own a semi-functioning laptop.

Chapter 2 – Twisted Innocence

 

 

* * *

 

_In to the hole again, we hurried along our way, into a once glorious garden now steeped in dark decay._

-          Alice Liddell (American McGee’s Alice)

 

* * *

 

Cheshire, whatever else he maybe, was a cat and to ponder a cat’s goals was a fool’s errand. Mainly because most cats themselves did not known why they did most things but whether he knew his own goals or not Cheshire now found himself taking a little pink-haired ninja-to-be under his wing, metaphorically speaking. Stranger pairings could, no doubt, be found but he could think of none at the moment.

 

De-materializing from his perch, Cheshire’s grin began to stretch after all he had a blade to collect and a child to meet and it had been so long since he had any **fun**.

 

 

The second meeting of the Cat and the girl while expected was no less strange because child or not even Sakura could see the strangeness of following a disembodied grin into a forest clearing. Entering the clearing, Sakura watched her new friend materialize out of thin air with a kitchen knife, of all things, appearing between his front paws. Confused she asked “Chess, why do you have a kitchen knife?”

 

 Eyes crinkling and grin widening, he replied “The Vorpal Blade is the gift I spoke of, little ninja need proper weaponry don’t they?” Stubbornly shaking her head, Sakura shot back “Ninja use kunai, kitchen knives are for cutting vegetables. Besides I just began the Academy I’m not allowed to use live weapons” “A foolish sentiment. Look around you Sakura; ninja-clans certainly don’t wait to train their young, why should you? That blade can grow into your greatest ally, always collect what’s useful, reject only your ignorance” Chastised Sakura picked up the knife and began to study it, up-close she could see the intricate design of vines, leaves, and flowers carved into the handle and etched into the blade. It was bigger than her mother’s kitchen knives and surprisingly lighter.

 

Blushing Sakura looked back at the Cat and muttered shyly “It’s pretty. Thank you”

 

Rising up on all fours, the Cat ordered pointedly “Wait here” before turning and walking over to a small patch flowers at the other end of the clearing. The girl watched curiously as Cheshire grasped something between his teeth before walking over to her and dropping it at her feet. It was a net. Dropping to her knees, Sakura saw something else; the net had a brown bunny in it. Reaching out to free the poor dear, Sakura’s hand was pinned by a large paw “Ah ah, this rabbit has a purpose” Confused she asked “What purpose?” Instead of answering the feline stared pointedly at the girl’s other hand which still clutched the knife.

 

Shocked, Sakura dropped the knife before stammering “Bu-but it’s ju-just a b-bunny! I-It didn’t do anything wrong. Why should I do something like that?”In a swift motion, the Cat brought his face directly in front of Sakura’s “Because if you don’t kill it how long before someone kills you?” Moving back, he began to circle the still shocked girl “You say you want to be a ninja but the main purpose of ninja to kill. They’ll put a pretty label on it, sure enough. They’ll preach on honor and duty but the truth is not so pretty. It’s simple; kill or be killed” Stopping in front of her, he sat back on his haunches “So? What’s your choice?”

 

And so they sat there, human and feline, waiting the decision to be made, finally a look of fragile resolve appeared on Sakura’s face. With a trembling hand, she picked up the knife once more and with a quick motion caught hold of the rabbit struggling within the net. After hesitating several times, she thrust the knife blindly into the net. Sheer luck allowed her to bury the knife in the rabbit’s neck, the torn veins let out a spray of blood that covered Sakura’s hands in a liberal coat of ruby red. Letting go of the knife, Sakura lifted her soaked hands to her face. She never seen this much blood before, it seemed so **red**. The fruit seller’s finest apples could barely compare to this brilliance, it was certainly a far prettier sight than the loud Haruno red. Curious, Sakura gave the back of her hand a long lick. As the taste began to register, Sakura’s face scrunched up in distaste and she quickly gathered saliva in her mouth and spat out as much as of the offending fluid as she could.

 

 Huffing she looked back at the Cat “How can something so pretty taste so _blergh_?” At the last word, her tongue stuck out to seemingly emphasize her point. The Cat shrugged and replied “To each his own I suppose. Enough dawdling, Sakura, we have work to do and little time before you are called back into that infernal academy” Turning he walked into the forest without a backward glance at Sakura who stood up and rushed after him, still clutching her stained knife in her wet hand. Soon enough the clearing was barren once again, with only a bled out rabbit to bear witness to the events that had come to pass.

 

* * *

 

 

Years passed for the girl and the cat, Sakura’s mother gave to twins. Sakura was unsure what to do around two squalling babes but one would note that her reaction to her parents’ surprise was markedly better than that of their reaction to Cheshire’s introduction to the household. But family is as family does and both ninja and civilian sides of the family silently agreed to studiously ignore the other. For Cheshire and Sakura life went on with it’s high and low terms;

“Sakura, these are now yours”

“You want to play Go Fish?”

“It’s a weapon not a toy”

“But they’re cards?!?”

“52 pickup is a staple in childhood humor but when the deck slices and dices it’s no laughing matter”

“Point taken”

**********

“Chess, why must I keep on doing this?”

“Because your speed is abysmal”

“But I’m tired!!”

“Would you prefer me to set a Card after you?”

“Tired? Who said anything about tired?”

**********

“Chess! Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a week”

“I’m surprised you noticed what with the gifts I left you”

“A series of Card Soldier ambushes is not a gift”

“Pity, it could have been a fine one. I don’t suppose you will appreciate what I have planned for you?”

“What do you have planned?”

“Oh, this and that”

“I barely slept the past week because of your so called gift!”

“Too late to stop it now”

“CHESHIRE!!!”

 

* * *

 

 

And so life went on and time passed, day in and day out, like sand in an hourglass. But the sand has run out and the glass must be turned once more.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Or the author finally figured out a plot. Which shall appear next chapter, see you there…oh who am I kidding nobody is reading this. I guess I’ll see myself there.


	3. Chapter Three - Team Affiliations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: People read this. Very few people but people nevertheless. I actually have three reviews. To which I say thank you. Getting feedback, no matter how small, is one of the best things to happen to any author. So thank you once again and I hope I don’t disappoint.
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. Most chapters will be interspersed by quotes from both games. I hope you don’t mind.

Chapter 3 – Team Affiliations

Disclaimer: I own a dog and a cat owns me.

 

* * *

 

What is sought is most often found, if it is  _truly_  sought – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice

 

* * *

 

Irritated, Sakura glared at the over-sized cat lounging on her bed who, in true feline nature, proceeded to ignore the near-visible angry aura surrounding his companion. Sakura glared for a few more moments, out of pure habit, before walking over to her desk to stare at her newly acquired forehead protector. Gingerly picking the engraved metal, she stuffed it into her vest before grabbing a piece of ribbon and tying her back her shoulder-length hair. Turning to walk out the door, Sakura stopped in front of the floor-length mirror and gave herself an once-over; green turtleneck, black vest, black pants, and black ninja sandals. Sakura huffed lightly, she liked the clothes well enough but would it have killed Cheshire to let her add more color to it? She lost that argument in a rather humiliating round of rock-paper-scissors.

 

Walking out of the room, blasted cat still out for the count, the soon-to-be-inducted genin crept along the walls of her home eager to avoid her family, a fresh argument had sparked between them and she had neither the time nor the inclination for another confrontation.

 

Successfully dodging mayhem, Sakura took to the streets eager to have all this ceremony done and over with.

 

* * *

 

Her arrival in the class went unnoticed in view of the sheer ongoing pandemonium. Frowning in disapproval at the sight of Chouji stuffing his gullet, Sakura side-stepped a fallen Kiba and made her way up the steps before plopping into an empty seat next to the brooding Uchiha, much to the condensation of majority of the class’s future kunoichi. Sakura quickly analyzed the situation, formed a logical conclusion…then made like a Nara and took a nap.

 

“QUIET!!!”

 

Startled awake, Sakura sluggishly blinked at the sight of a huffing Iruka before blocking out one of the sensei’s beloved speeches on ‘The Way of The Ninja’. Her mind came into focus once again when she recognized the sound on a roll-call. It was time for the announcement of team placements. Watching students get placed together, Sakura took note of some tactically sound groups as well as groups that made her think that perhaps their hokage was going senile. And then it was her turn.

 

“Team 7; Haruno Sakura” Straightening her back, Sakura focused her full attention on the chunin “Uzamaki Naruto” “Yes!” At the shout Sakura glanced, startled, at the blond seated on her right, assuming that he moved there during her nap she turned once more to face the front of the class “Uchiha Sasuke” Surprised once again, she looked at the glowering boy on her left. She contemplated the mathematical probability of her winding seated between her, now, teammates before realizing that it was an exercise on futility and quit before she turned madder than Cheshire.

 

By the time Iruka-sensei dismissed them for lunch to await their jounin sensei; Sakura was ready to strangle herself, or her teammates, with her still-pocketed forehead protector. She knew next to nothing about either but from one’s brooding and the other’s, for lack of a better word, enthusiasm, she had an ominous feeling that her time as part of a genin team would be decidedly **_unpleasant_**.

 

Bidding a hasty retreat she began to rummage through her pockets, she had stuffed several coins in there to avoid having to get a packed lunch at home. Counting out the spare change, the genin figured she had enough ryo for several sticks of dango; not the healthiest of lunches but a necessity if she was expected to deal with black and blond for the rest of the day. Destination in mind, Sakura headed off in the direction of her future, relative, peace of mind.

 

* * *

 

Her forehead hit the desk.

 

“Not nearly enough dango” she muttered to herself glancing at the **still** brooding Uchiha and the fidgeting Naruto “Not sure there’s enough sugar in the world”

 

“He’s not going fall for such a stupid trick, he’s a jounin” Surprised that the Uchiha deigned to speak at all, Sakura watched Naruto jam a chalk duster between the door frame but before she could make her own opinion known the door opened and the duster fell onto a veritable mop of silver hair.

 

“My first opinion…I hate you all”

 

 All three pre-teens froze under the glare of a roving black eye, a full minute passed before the strange jounin ordered “Meet me on the roof in five!” and disappeared in a swirl of leaves. Sakura exchanged weary glances with her fellow teammates before all three raced for the door. 

 

By the time they hit the roof Sakura’s initial nervousness had worn off and she began to see the jounin in a new light; her prognosis…not good.

 

“We’re gonna start simple; names, likes, dislikes, and dreams” Sparing a glance at her teammates reactions, she caught sight of Naruto jumping to a stand and beginning to yell “We don’t know anything about you so you start”

 

The bemused jounin pointed a finger at himself “Me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. My likes and dislikes? I don’t feel like saying. My dreams? None of your business” At that moment Sakura was hit with a strange premonition; this team would drive her nuttier than Cheshire ever could, and wasn’t that a sad thought.

 

“Alright your turn Blondie” Turning towards Naruto, Sakura and company were consequently treated to the greatest ode to ramen composed by man or kami. Still reeling from the fast-food onslaught, Kakashi said “Alright pinky you’re up”

Huffing at his lack of originality, the pre-teen responded “My name is Haruno Sakura. I like sweets and Cheshire, I don’t like getting wet. My dream is to finally be ready.”

 

Their, maybe, sensei looked confused but seemed hesitant to ask any questions; luckily for him Naruto had no such compulsions “Ready for what, Sakura-chan?”

 

“I don’t know. Cheshire knows but he won’t tell me.  He says I'm not ready to know what I'm not ready for. But how does he know I'm not ready to know what I'm not ready for? And if he doesn't tell me what I need to do to become ready to know what I'm not ready for then how can I make sure that I become ready to know what I'm not ready for so I can be ready for that? I’m irritated”

 

The trio of males spent a full minute processing her words before, still dazed, Kakashi turned his eye unto his last student. The Uchiha’s response solidified Sakura’s rather low opinion of her teammates as did Kakashi’s nonchalant delivery of their possible failure in the near future. Walking home, Sakura looked forward to the Cat’s presence in a way she hadn’t since she was little after all when all was said and done Cheshire would be the one left by her side not a mis-matched team of ninja in questionable state of repair.      

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews encourage me. Constructive criticism helps me improve. Flamers; flame on.


	4. Emotional Therapy

Chapter 4 – Emotional Therapy

 

Disclaimer: I own two packs of instant ramen, chicken flavor. Not for long though.

* * *

 

 

Kakashi Hatake was not happy

 

Not at all

 

And he had the distinct feeling that he was going to be feeling even less happy quite soon…and it was that Pinkie’s entire fault. After failing team after consecutive team, Kakashi wasn’t really surprised at the match-up given to him. The ‘last’ Uchiha, his sensei’s son, and an obligatory kunoichi; even if he failed this team he knew the elders would grudge up **some** way to latch the first two on to him. So he went for the standard meet-and-greet.

 

The Uchiha was a right little beacon of childhood nostalgia for Kakashi with an extra dash or two of homicide added to the mix. The Uzumaki was well known for his eye-catching pranks. His worship of ramen, while not as well known, was somewhat disturbing; and then there was the girl.

 

It was a well known fact ninja had senses far superior to those of civilians. A less known fact was that Kakashi had a nose far keener than most. A skill he whole-heartedly regretted when he realized the kunoichi he had so easily dismissed **reeked** of _cat_.

 

And that was just the start of it

 

 **Kakashi** was supposed to be the one confusing the genin not the other way around. The girl spoke in so many circles he could barely hear what was on the surface never mind going beneath the underneath as he was wont to do.

 

Releasing a small sign, Kakashi looked over at the much abused – little used alarm clock on his night stand. The battered hands read 7:10.

 

His candidates should be on the training grounds already. Grabbing a hold of Icha-Icha, he plopped back down on his futon. He had a few hours to kill and wallow in his unhappiness.

 

Because he was not happy…at all

* * *

 

 

Naruto was not happy

 

Except maybe a little

 

But mostly he was not happy

 

First he got teamed up with Sakura-chan which was awesome because she was really pretty and she never bullied him and she was really pretty and she didn’t have a crush on the Teme and she was really pretty and she was really smart and…

 

But then he also  got teamed up with that dumb Teme who thought he was so cool and brooded all the damn time and had all the girls(except Sakura-chan ‘cause she was cool) drooling all over him and was an idiot and…

 

And then he wound up with the freakiest sensei of all time who said they had to take _another_ test before they became really genin.

 

And now he was at the training grounds, without any breakfast, waiting for the weird sensei who was over an HOUR late and Sakura-chan was ignoring his awesomeness and paying attention to that really creepy cat with the really freaky eyes that made his voice run away and made the hair on his arms stand on end underneath his jacket.

 

So no, Naruto was not happy…not even a little bit.

* * *

 

 

Sasuke was not happy; unfortunately this was a fairly common incidence.

Sasuke was a boy with a singular goal in mind; to kill That Man. It was a fairly simply goal but easier said than done. Hence he did not particularly like it when the universe seemed to conspire against his goal; that is to say, he hated it.

 

Bad enough that he was to be stuck with a pair of teammates but did it have to be the Dobe and a girl who had _pink_ hair of all things. What kind of self-respecting ninja had pink hair? To make matters even better they saddle him with a jounin who wasn’t competent enough to dodge a falling chalking board eraser and had no concept of punctuality what so ever.

 

Now incensed even further, Sasuke raised his head to glare at that _thing_ sitting next to Sakura. Sasuke was an Uchiha. A clan well-known for their numerous contracts with cat summons but nothing on this earth would make him acknowledge that _abomination_ as a cat. This was quite similar to his refusal to acknowledge that that _things’_ eerie stare made him uneasy.

 

Yes, Sasuke was not happy…as usual.

 

* * *

 

 

Sakura was conflicted on what her feelings were at the moment. But this was a common occurrence so it didn’t really bother her.

 

Logic indicated that a jounin had more knowledge than a genin. Sakura’s common sense, on the other hand, rather forcefully pointed out that a light snack was more likely to help than hinder her no matter how strenuous the physical activity. The mental argument resulted in her munching on a fat peach while pointedly ignoring the stares of her teammates. Albeit their stares were most likely not because of said peach, which she doubted they even noticed, and more likely due to the presence of Cheshire.    

 

The fore-mentioned cat was lounging partially on her lap while she stroked the fine grey hairs along the vertebrae of his spine. Pausing to toss away the pit, Sakura lay back on the sun warmed grass.

 

POP! “YOU’RE LATE!”

 

Buzz effectively slaughtered, the pre-teen pushed the cat off her lap and rose to join her incensed teammates. Looking her way, the jounin creased his visible eye in a caricature of a smile and chirped “Oh Pinkie, who’s the kitty?”

 

Un-amused Sakura turned to Cheshire who responded by rolling onto his back and waving all four paws in the air, the move which would have nauseatingly cute on any other was rather disturbing with the grey cat’s skeletal frame. Refusing give Cheshire the satisfaction, Sakura let out a tense “Busy” and rolled her shoulders to relieve some tension. Looking Kakashi in the eye, she inquired “What’s this test going to be?”

* * *

 

 

Raising a finger to touch his covered cheek, the jounin’s mask contorted into a pout “A test? What test? I don’t remember anything about a test?” Kakashi allowed the trio to steam a bit before saying coyly “Oh! Now I remember!” and produced two silver bells seemingly out of thin air. Holding their attention, he proceeded to explain the rules of the hunt before beginning the count-down but before he could yell GO he found himself chastising an over-exited Naruto. Letting go of him, Kakashi finally yelled “GO!” and watched Sakura and Sasuke shoot off in a burst of speed.

 

To his amusement, or irritation (he really wasn’t sure), Naruto stayed rooted to his spot. Confused Kakashi turning to the still-lounging cat and stage whispered “What is he doing?”Why Kakashi did this, he did not know but a response was the last thing he expected “I can't know everything. Pretend you're an orphan – oh! That was rude, you  _are_ ” Sent _again_ into shock, Kakashi watched as the cat disappeared into thin air. Pondering who he had pissed off in a past life, Kakashi braced himself and turned to face the yelling blonde.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Kakashi may be a quirky genius but sadly he is not crazy, which is a requirement when dealing with Cheshire and this story’s Sakura. Reviews are my crack, constructive criticism is my cocaine, flames are my meth, and I am an addict.


	5. Chapter 5 - How to Skin a Dog

Chapter 5 – How to skin a dog

 

* * *

 

Disclaimer: I like Bleach more than Naruto. That says all you need to know.

 

* * *

 

I’m still trying to get my writing up to par and I apologize for the long delay. Juggling work and college has been difficult. Writer’s block doesn’t help either. Neither does the discovery of Destiel. Anybody here like poetry?

 

* * *

 

Summoned animals were no novelty to a ninja. While not available to just any chewed-on shinobi, they were nevertheless an age-old advantage used by any lucky enough to get their hands on a contract. It was also well known that the more intelligent of these summons had the ability to speak.

 

Kakashi was quite familiar with these concepts, and in the split second it took him to face Naruto, he resolutely tried to convince himself that’s all there was to the skeletal cat. Never mind he couldn’t detect any chakra coils what so ever. After all it was just chakra, the foundation on which all of ninja-kind based their lives; no biggie. He was sure there must be a perfectly good explanation for it; that he had absolutely no need for. After there was nothing out of the ordinary here; nope nothing at all.

 

* * *

 

Sakura watched the on-going fight in minor fascination; although calling it a fight was putting it kindly. But details aside, her focus was so intent it’s hardly surprising she failed to notice the appearance of Cheshire before his purring voice startled her

 

“Quite like a train wreck, is it not?” 

 

Albeit one might argue that, focus or not, she probably wouldn’t have noticed him anyway.

 

Ignoring the cat for the moment, the maybe-ninja turned her attention back to the sight of Naruto being tossed into the pond courtesy of…well that was certainly not approved behavior and  she was pretty sure that putting your fingers _there_ could be seen as sexual harassment. Now bored at the display, she turned back to Cheshire “Have you any useful advice?”

 

Not acknowledging her question, the cat proceeded to stare at Sakura until a visible twitch appeared above her brow and she hissed “Well?” Widening his grin, Cheshire responded “I've heard self-reliance is a virtue. Now you've heard it” before disappearing to…well Sakura had no idea what the blasted feline was off to and frankly she didn’t give a damn. No, she was quite busy plotting how to skin his hide.

 

“Slippery character, that one, isn’t he?”Fortunately for Sakura’s ‘dignity’, she managed to avoid flinching this time round; much to Kakashi’s disappointment. Cutting losses, she turned tail and sprinted further into the woods. She didn’t make it very far before she came across a clearing with a rather baffling sight; Sasuke ‘I am an avenger’ Uchiha stumbling and embedded with enough kunai and shuriken to fully equip an entire genin squad. She silently watched as the Uchiha fell to the ground and reached out his hand to her calling “S-Sakura h-help me”; okay forget baffling, this was downright apocalyptic.

 

Backing away slowly, Sakura noticed a strange warping in the air around Sasuke and suddenly the rather frightening situation made a whole lot more sense. Genjutsu were touched upon at the Academy, _touched_ being the key word here. Although someone had once said that she had an affinity for genjutsu, whatever that meant. But they did cover one thing; the seal for dispelling genjutsu. Hands forming the appropriate seal, she dispelled the jutsu with a muttered “Kai”

 

Disturbed at the lingering mental imagery of the Uchiha _asking_ for help, Sakura began to head back into the trees when she was startled by a shout of sheer feline indignation and right on queue a sopping wet cat materialized in front of her.

 

“Sakura” he sneered “If you would be so kind as to rip the hide off that mutt’s back, I would be much obliged” Wincing in sympathy, she replied “Best I can do right now is pass this test. I’m sure that should give you ample chance for future retaliations” Grinning, he replied “Purr-fect”  

 

* * *

 

In theory she should have seen it, Kakashi’s test was deceptively simple and theoretically passing it should be simple as well. When Cheshire detailed the situation out to her, she didn’t ask how he knew; her curiosity was not worth the risk, Sakura tried to bring her teammates into the fold. Tried being the key word here; given a few years, perhaps, with constant work, she could put a dent in their egos. Sadly she didn’t have the time or the will for it and after her attempts were rebuffed with either disgust or a speech about the ninja way, Sakura threw in the proverbial towel and shuffled off to find somewhere to hide until the bell rang on this epic failure.

 

Now, angry and feeling rather spiteful towards her ‘teammates’, Sakura sat on the ground next to the bound up Naruto watching Kakashi deliver his speech and not really paying any attention. However she had her attention dragged back when Kakashi decided to focus on her “Sakura-chan, fashion choices aside you should really your forehead protector. You know, while you still have one”

 

Scowling, Sakura pulled the weighted metal from her pocket and secured it firmly on her forehead. When Kakashi finally left them alone, Sakura instantly went along with the Uchiha’s plan to feed Naruto. Less out of worry for her teammate and more out of the sheer need to spite the jounin; also that peach really had been huge. Needless to say when Kakashi had approved of their mini-rebellion, she had less than pleased and silently vowed to reach chunin as soon as possible, if for no other reason than to escape this lot.


	6. Contemplating Suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own…blah-blah-blah
> 
> A/N: I may not post anymore chapters for a while. I have really lost the flow of this story and if I do continue it will mean that I have already finished completed the entire story. I feel that writing method will be easier on both me and the readers.

 

Shinobi missions came in various ranks; each rank corresponded to the difficulty of these missions as well as the pay-offs to be gained off them. The lowest class of these is the D-rank, if they could be counted as missions at all. Truth of the matter was that D-ranks were more PR affairs than anything else. However, they were not without their uses; over the years it had become a time-honored tradition to break in newly-fledged genin with a few D-ranks, hand over a short C-rank, and continue with this pattern while slowly increasing the frequency of C-ranks in their diet.

  
If asked, Sakura would state that Kakashi probably never received that memo and if he did he promptly burned it because there was no other explanation for the current state of affairs.  
________________________________________  
Mission #001

As far as first missions went, Sakura could honestly say that there were worse things she could have been doing besides painting a fence; even if between coats all she had to do was, literary, watch paint dry. Overall, things could be far worse…that is if not for one minor issue.

Crash! Dobe!

Honestly, it seemed the simply breathing the same air could generate a fight between those two. And Kakashi was no help whatsoever, with his head stuck in that orange book of his. Cursing on the inside, she turned to face the still wet fence; ignoring status quo seemed like the best option.  
________________________________________  
Mission #010  
Mind-numbing boredom of D-ranks in general aside, Sakura could honestly say she rather enjoyed Tora missions. Turned out, that being constantly around a being like Cheshire lent a certain aura to her; a repellant if you will against most other animals. Hence, Sakura spent any animal related missions a safe distance away from her team. However, she couldn’t deny that there was something special about lounging with Cheshire in the shade of a tree, watching the boys stumble about chasing the errant feline and seeing said feline deliver righteous retribution via sharp claw to delicate skin.

Yes, dozing to the background duet of Tora’s yowls and Naruto’s yelps, Sakura could safely say that Tora missions where her absolute favorite.  
________________________________________


End file.
